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Sunday, August 08, 2004

Bipolar Blogs

I've done a bit of searching to find if I'm the only BP blogging then found out how really HUGE blogging is as an entity in and of itself.

One in particular rang true for me:

http://www.maymay.net/bpd/blog/

It's hard to describe sometimes how I think, and feel (are they separate, thought and emotion? One colours the other) and to get even a small sense of resonance with another person, that they have even an echo of some of my own .... neural fireworks - that is reassuring. I don't mean that we are all identical, but he had described in one part an inability to control the direction of thoughts sometimes, the hammering on a particular negative thought/emotion, and sometimes the deliberate calling up of that process while aware of its potential destructive effect, that whole thing rang true with me.

Last night

Rob and I finally went out for a dinner date. Money's been so tight lately - car insurance, me trying to pay down my Mastercard from my last spending spree, etc - so to go to a movie and dinner was a nice change. It's not like we went to some $150.00 a plate place - just Jack Astors. I had a nice chicken caesar with some asiago cheese on it for a nice change. And the movie was the Metallica documentary. Really quite interesting. Lars Ulrich is even more of an ass than he appears in the press. Not too bright either if he lets this kind of stuff be released in his name.

I was kind of hoping that it would be like when Rob and I were first married and a dinner date ended up with a nasty fuck. No. He sat down to watch the Toronto Rocks video (about the SARS concert last summer with The Stones and ACDC etc) instead. So I had to resort to the old lingerie thing and finally drew him away. Fuck, it was so hard for me not to dwell on that, that he needs that kind of incentive. I guess I am still dwelling on it since 12 hrs later or more, I'm still thinking about it.

He's calling - he's made scrambled eggs for breakfast.

BBIAB




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