These are my thoughts. They are not meant to make sense. They are my echo into the woods. I am the tree that falls, and it is here that I make a sound.
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Saturday, September 11, 2004

The Beauty of the Mundane

First:

Thank you. Your comments really mean a great deal and make me smile. What a great feeling it is to be understood.

Second:

This weekend is a special one. My son is usually with his father every single weekend. But the weekend after labour day is always the one where his father spends with his girlfriend/wife/significant other/whatever-the-hell-she-is (she's strange, which is hilarious coming from someone on the level of anti-psychotic medication that I am). So Adam is with us all weekend. We're a full family this weekend.

The weather has cooperated: perfect blue skies, a light breeze, low 20s for temp (for the non-metric Americans among you that would be 70 F or so). I am not one for housework, never have been, but I was actually happy to be changing sheets, doing laundry, cleaning bathroom floors. Adam was in his room, killing aliens and Rob was flaked out on the chesterfield, cat napping. I rigged up a temporary clothes line in the backyard (the other being too small for the bed linen) and the dog and I hung the sheets in the sun. I checked my small vegetable garden and noticed the first of the tomatoes is near ripe.

And as I write this, I was interrupted by a door bell. We never have visitors. There was a woman at the door with a note stapled to a plastic garbage bag. They are asking for anything we can give: clothes, batteries, flashlights, dry food. They are sending a container to Grenada, a poor island to begin with that has been just devastated by Hurricane Ivan. It doesn't have the social infrastructure to deal with such disasters that the United States does as it did with Hurricane Andrew. I will call the number on the sheet and give what I can.

This interruption only serves to emphasize my feelings today.

I have had the fortune today of living a very mundane day. I cleaned. I enjoyed the sunshine. I drew more (I will post a digital snapshot today - my scanner and I are not on speaking terms right now). I spent time with my family. We had lively conversation over the dinner table, each interested in the other. I am not paranoid. I am not delusional. I am calm. I have a roof over my head and a well-paying job to help provide for that roof.

I remember times in my life where I would deliberately seek out dangerous or chaotic situations because it was the only way I knew how to live. It was a reflection of the chaos in me. The last time I was like that wasn't all that long ago.

For me to have a day where I can appreciate the mundane, to be happy to stand in my yard, clothespins in hand, face turned to the fall sun, that's another victory.

I will take all the victories I can, no matter how mundane.


Blogger Meitar said...
Victory earned, indeed.

It's also nice to know that Adam is keeping us all safe from Aliens though. :)  

Blogger moodymicello said...
What a beautiful day you have had! I am so happy you have found your balance. That's what it's all about. Thank Adam for me as well regarding the aliens. Michele  

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