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Monday, September 27, 2004

Not Caring a Whit

There's a guy I work with who is a moron passing as a salesman. Some might say that they are one and the same and I have to say no, they're not necessarily the same.

M is Italian, 37, single and I believe still lives at home. I also believe he is so deep in the closet he sleeps wrapped in drycleaning bags. None of this make him a moron. It does form who he is as a person and that can sometimes colour how we react to other people.

M has been working for my company for at least 6 years. During that time, he was apparently the expert on the product that I was hired particularly for at the beginning of January 2004. I wonder what on God's Green Earth he has been doing for the past 6 years, because it sure as hell hasn't been learning his craft.

M uses phrases like "at the end of the day", and "you've dropped the ball again" the way a Valley Girl says "Like, ya know, totally". And I honestly believe that he uses these phrases to appear more (a) managerial - the first phrase I think he believes conveys a sense of assessment; and (b) aggressive - the second phrase speaks for itself. As well he has a pet phrase that DRIVES ME INSANE: "I told him VERBALLY".

Telling someone is an act of verbal communication. You cannot tell someone in a manner OTHER than verbally. To do so would mean you are (a) a mime, (b)a writer, or (c) a dumbass sales dick who couldn't find his ass with both hands and a flashlight.

M is threatened by me, constantly makes offhand jokes about how I think I know everything. Two weeks ago those remarks would send me into paranoia. Right now, Mr Banana-Chewing-Lazy-Ass-Can-You-Do-This-For-Me-I'm-Too-Busy-Fixing-My-Receding-Hairline, you can say those things and I'm FINE with that. F.I.N.E.

Because I DO know what I'm doing.

And I DO know that I'm better at it than you.

So stay out of my way, little man. Your momma's callin'. You might get hurt.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
synergy's k says 'verbally': "U Go Guuurl!" Love the dry cleaning bag comment---can I borrow that from time to time?...of course I will tally up my usage 'at the end of the day' (Everything where I work is due COB, or 'close of business' which essentially means 'at the end of the day') Try that on him. Watch him get all flustered trying to figure COB out..........catch out back?.....closeted over babes????  

Blogger blondzila said...
:-) Use away, k, use away! And I'm going to use the COB on him, see if he blinks :-)  

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