My first date. I guess I can't include in this those times when I was a desperate 12 year old, dreaming of boys who paid her no attention, kissing her pillow in the dark of her room, pretending someone thought she was beautiful. And I won't include those offers for what I'll politely call "quickies" from men in passing cars as I walked to school.

My first official real honest-to-goodness date was when I asked a guy. For real.

I was sixteen and worked in the cafeteria restaurant of a major Canadian department store (the chain, near a century old, recently folded). It was the type of place where all the help wore these itchy brown-with-orange-trim polyester dresses. The dishwashers (all guys) wore white pants and white shirts (whoever chose their uniforms obviously did no laundry in their lives).

There was a guy that worked there, as a dishwasher, who I thought was an Adonis. His name was Pete. He was an entire three years older than me (I've always had a thing for older men - my current husband is almost exactly 10 years my senior). I would do almost anything to catch a glimpse of Pete, but also tried really hard not to be one of those annoying puppy-dog kind of girls, nipping at his heels.

My best friend worked with me. She knew that I had that hots for Pete big time. But she also knew that there wasn't a hope of me doing anything about it. She told the other dishwasher on staff, who went to school with us, that I was over the moon about Pete. So, this other dishwasher, D'arcy was his name, told me to ask Pete out. I was horrified.

But somehow, I did. To this day I don't know where I got that courage. And Pete said yes, he would go to the movies with me. Part of me, I think, fainted, but just forgot to fall over.

The day of the date came. I had suggested we go see Pale Rider, with Clint Eastwood (no chick flick for my first date). He picked me up (he had a car, I don't even think I had my licence then) in a huge boat of a convertible. I was standing across the street at the moment he drove up, nervously chatting to a neighbour who was so excited for me. The neighbour was in her mid 20s and like an older sister. When she saw Pete, she gave me a high 5! Way to go! she said. What a hunk! (You notice: women don't really use that expression anymore - they're not really hunks, they're hotties...anyway, I digress).

We drove to the theatre. In silence. I was too scared to say anything that would make me seem like the doofus I thought I was. He drove confidently with one hand on the wheel, the wind whipping through his jet black hair.

We got to the theatre and I paid. We sat, in silence, listening to ELO on the muzak they played before the movie. To this day, everytime I hear the lyrics: "Don't bring me dooowwwwn, Brrrruce!" I think of Pete and this movie.

We watched the movie in silence. Good thing it was a good movie. At one point I realized that I wasn't getting anywhere in this date, and I resigned myself to chalk this up to experience. A little grain of hope remained for the "drop off", however.

He drove me back home, and put the car in reverse the minute it came to a stop. That was a pretty clear signal that I wasn't getting any kiss, handshake, nothing. I was a little sad, and honestly, a little embarassed. I got out of the car, said thanks to him for coming with me. He drove off into the night.

Working back at the restaurant seemed a bit strange after that. I wondered: did he agree to go with me out of curiosity? Politeness? Genuine interest that faded when I wouldn't really say "boo" out of nerves?

I will always have sympathy and compassion for guys who struggle and have the nerve to ask a woman out. I know how hard it is to put your ego on the line like that. My son's at the age now (13) where he likes girls and he's got his first "can't we just be friends" speech.

Adam, my friend, I feel your pain. But not only are there other fish in the sea, there are those who are eager to swim with you. Give it time, bud.

¶ 1:07 PM

 jesslin said...
"Part of me, I think, fainted, but just forgot to fall over." That was awesome! Great post  

 Dreaming again said...
I found myself holding my breath more than once reading this!

I hope somehow, Pete finds this blog and realizes what a doofus he was!

Wonderful story ... Wish I didn't relate to the emotions in it!!!! GRIN but alas ... I do!  

 blondzila said...
Thanks ladies :-)  

 moodymicello said...
That story is classic and you surely can turn a phrase. Too bad we don't have you writing for some of the teen publications.  

 jesslin said...
you made my top 5!  

 timsamoff said...
You made my Top 5. Yay. :)  

Post a Comment

links to this post