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Friday, December 10, 2004

What I want for Christmas?

What I want for Christmas?

I was born during the holiday season. Today is my birthday. It's a double edged sword, having your birthday so close to Christmas. Some people (my husband, for one, whose birthday is a week after Christmas) got shortchanged and had single presents double for both occasions.

He dislikes Christmas. He likes buying things for Adam and I, taking pleasure in our pleasure. But he hates it otherwise. He works in retail at the administrative level, in a national headquarters of a major retailer. This time of year is hell for people like him. To add insult to injury, his father passed away about 12 years ago the day after his birthday, so, since he was a kid, there has been basically jack good about this time of year.

What is on my Christmas list?

His happiness.

I want him to see this time of year through the eyes of a child again.

I want him to feel the anticipation, the fun of the early morning. Remember being little and just shaking with excitement? SANTA HAD COME!

Honestly, I'm not a religious person. For reasons that I may relate someday, I lost any belief in a higher power at a very young age. But I understand the effort and the sense behind the Christian story. This is a time of birth, of new beginnings, of giving selflessly because it moves us to, rather than because we expect recompense, of taking the long nights of winter and seeing in them the promise of new life, the spring yet to come, (never mind the historical inaccuracies and changes in the actual date of Christmas...the sense of the season shouldn't change).

I know that the commercialism that engulfed Christmas really disgusts many people. The television spews vomitous commercial after banal ad. But it's symbolic. We've got to remember to see past the money and see the metamorphosis: out of the darkness of winter, when historically we would have had the least to give, we give for the pleasure of giving.

My exhusband is now saddled with a girlfriend who writes out explicit and expensive lists of what she "needs". I don't think their house sees a lot of giving for pleasure. It ends up being a barter system for future nights out with the boys and sexual favours.

I want to give my husband the world. Not because I want to get laid, but because he deserves it.

I don't worry that he will or won't like my gifts. I know that he knows they are from the heart, the one place that we should always keep commercial-free.




Blogger jesslin said...
I totally understand. Nice post!  

Blogger blondzila said...
Thanks :-)  

Blogger Dreaming again said...
Well, it's after midnight, so I guess I should say, happy late birthday!

I hope your husband can learn to see Christmas through a child's eyes like you hope.

My sons birthday is December 18, this is the first year he's getting a combination gift. He'll be 13, I swore I'd never do that to him ... but ... I think he'll like it this time. He's getting a Game Boy and 2 games. Christmas day will come with more games.

I hope that every light that your husband sees will remind him of the light he sees in your eyes! You deserve that. He desrves that!  

Blogger Meitar said...
:) Nice post indeed. I totally agree with you with "giving for pleasure." As far as I'm concerned, it's the only way I'd ever want to give gifts.

As a random aside, THANK YOU for fixing/re-starting to publish your atom side feed! You made my newsreader very happy. ^_^;

And as another random aside, I accidentally typed sanityoptional.blogspot.com when I came to post this, and did you know there's actually a blog there?  

Blogger Christop said...
Hey, this is a really good post. I'm going to go back and give it an honorable mention in my Top 5, 'cause I hadn't read it when I chose them.  

Blogger Cliff said...
Good heartfelt post (why does that not surprise me in the least?)

Happy belated 21st birthday (again), and you're in my top picks this week!  

Blogger Digger said...
Interesting post there, I spoke at my church yesterday on what Christmas means to me, and i always appreciate others informed opinions.

Particulalrly liked what u said about just giving as a way of almost blackmailing people-I hate that.

Good blog though, I'll try visit more often!  

Blogger Dreaming again said...
Just letting you know, you're in my top 5 Blogger Idol pick!  

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