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Monday, March 14, 2005

A blip

Friday, Saturday and Sunday: each day, for a different reason, my medication and/or sleep and/or eating schedules were disrupted.

It showed: by Sunday, I was driving to my hockey game in near tears. From nowhere. And checking the speedometer on my car, wondering what would happen if I just drove into the car in front of me at that speed. Wondering what would hit me first, the steering wheel or the dashboard.

Playing hockey like that will do one of two things: I will get off the ice at the end wanting to almost literally kill someone, or I will feel much better, like the high pressure steam line has been vented. Yesterday, I came home feeling better. 95% myself. I'm striving for 100% by the end of today.

I made sure I took my Seroquel on time last night and I've taken my meds this morning. I need to get back on track. And I know I can do it. It's not a major upset, just a blip.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Isn't that a scary thought? I've had that and similar thoughts way too often. I think about what would be the right speed to swerve in front of an oncoming logging truck, fast enough so I would die, but not so fast that the other driver gets seriously hurt. Oh yeah, and make it look like an accident so the life insurance pays off.

Then after the thought has passed, I feel guilty about the risk to other people, and I start looking for roads on high cliffs with no guardrail...

(51% joking, 49% reality)  

Blogger Franikins said...
I'm glad you have the ability to place it in the proper persective. "Aye, 'tis just a blip" and do the things you need to do to get back on course.

Go go, Blondzila!

Yes, there are cheerleaders in hockey. Or at there should be. ;)  

Blogger moodymicello said...
It doesn't take much to turn us upside down. The good news is you recognized what did it and as Franikins notes "put it in perspective". You're doing great. Compare it to a year ago. I think if we take the time to study ourselves,our moods, meds, behaviors, reactions, etc., we stand a decent chance at some semblance of stability or at least aiming at it. Yay for you. m  

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