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Monday, August 01, 2005

Let my people go

Poor Rob.

The pendulum has swung the other way.

On the way to a barbeque at my sister's , I told him how great I felt and he said he thought I was in the opposite place I was a few days ago. I went off on a tangent for a while, basically asking what was wrong with feeling so good, why can't I just enjoy it, what's wrong with that.

He responded that he always watches me and makes mental notes and while he knows it's a swing, he's much more comfortable with me on this end of the pendulum than the other, that much more can go wrong when things are the other way. And personally, between you and me, I think another reason he enjoys things this way, this far along, is that I'm more like the person I was when we met: energetic, adventurous, no-holds-barred. And there are some definite fringe benefits for him that way.

But the poor man.

The man has got NO rest. Every time he's laid for a rest, I end up needing to wake him up.

Last night he just said "I don't think things are going to happen tonight." I think I killed it :-). I mean, how much can one appendage stand?

I also did something I've not done since I was diagnosed - I went back to a particular website that is quite adult and involves cameras. I used to frequent it very often when I was in moods like this one. I even remember someone sending me film they had captured of me. It's out there somewhere. Well, someone may have just added to their collection yesterday. Yeah yeah I know. But I had FUN. When was the last time I had such FUN!

At the barbeque at my sister's, my mother reminded everyone that her brother is coming into Toronto at the beginning of September from Newfoundland, and that she's having a barbeque at her place when he does.

As we were leaving the barbeque, I told my brother and two sisters that I wasn't going to my mom's for the barbeque. My brother told me that Mom has already told them inside the house (we were in the backyard). It irritated me that my mother felt she had to bring that up when I wasn't around.

Now why, you ask, wouldn't I go to a barbeque for my mother's brother who lives 2000 km away?

Because he's an arrogant prick who, if I had to spend time with him, would have me shouting and physically hurting him.

My mother has a younger brother and sister. Both are adopted (the brother being the asshole). The brother always knew he was adopted. The sister didn't. She is deaf. My grandmother (who I sincerely believe was bipolar), felt that my aunt had a hard enough time in life without having the "burden" of being adopted, being made to feel like she had been abandoned, etc. So NO ONE was allowed to tell her while my grandmother was alive.

My grandmother died while I was 8 months pregnant with Adam, so, 14 years ago. My mom's brother, a few years later, decided enough was enough, and came into Toronto from Newfoundland for the weekend, told my aunt she was adopted, and promptly took a plane back to the Maritimes. He destroyed my aunt's world.

I am NOT saying she didn't deserve to know. Rather, I am saying that, if he really felt a part of our family and had my aunt's best interests at heart, he would have let us know that he was going to tell her and we could have told her as a family, letting her know why my grandmother (rightly or wrongly) did what she did in not telling her, and being there for my aunt as a group, rather than leaving her to deal with it on her own.

When I found out at the time, I phoned his house in Newfoundland, and was so furious I was bawling my eyes out (I hate when that happens). I called him every profane name in the book and said he was just doing this because he is an arrogant son of a bitch who thinks he knows better than everyone, and never ever really considered himself part of this family, and this proves it so as far as I was concerned, I no longer had an uncle David. He called my mother back yelling at her for my profanity, saying his young son could have heard that. My mother just said hey, blondie's my daughter and she doesn't pull any punches.

Since then, my aunt has fallen apart. It's a very long story but she really did just disintegrate and is now living off of social assistance. My sisters are the only ones who really take care of her, acting as intermediaries with various government agencies when translators arent' available. And where's my mom's brother been during all this? In his cosy fucking house 2000 km away, spoiling his little son.

To this day, 14 years later, I refer to him as my mom's brother, not my uncle. So, I know it bothers my mother that I'm not coming. I told my father yesterday that I wasn't going and he said not to worry and I responded immediately and curtly, Oh trust me, I'm not worried.

I know my mom's going to lie to him and say I have an alternate engagement, that's why I won't be at the barbeque. EVERYONE else will be there - my deaf aunt, my mom's other brother and all his kids, all my siblings and their kids, my mom's deceased brother's wife and daughter (my favourite cousin in the world). Everyone except me. I hope I'm conspicuous in my absence, or that someone has the balls to tell him I didn't go because I hate him.

SOOOOOOOOOOO......

That's enough of that.

Today is a holiday here and I'm so enjoying the extra day weekend. Rob and I are going to take our bikes down to Lake Ontario and ride along the waterfront. Maybe I can find a place where I can continue the attack on the good ship Rob ;-). WOOHOO!

Let's all give thanks to the pendulum swing!

Now....where's Rob?


Blogger Gigglezngrinz said...
That was really funny...the pieces about poor Rob and your sex mania. Mr Live in just told me over the weekend that Im an all or nothing deal. Either I am totally insatiable or don't want to be touched. Goes along with the moods...but he wasnt exactly complaining.  

Blogger moodymicello said...
Yes, you are funny...and I can remember those moods. Damn I wish someone rocked my socks again. As to the brother of your mom...he is an ass pure and simple, ignorant and pompous. Just remember that is another pendulum that swings and his time will come. Hope you had a successful hunt. Ha! Michele  

Blogger distantvoices said...
Can relate to Rob's mental notes and the err mood swings too.On the up, enjoy it always.  

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