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Saturday, August 06, 2005

Not for me

Days are still good. Energy is high, mind is sharp. Now, for two separate points.

1) My blog has been active for a year now. August 3 2004 I started this mess to vent and ease some of the burden I put on Rob by blurting out the venom and infected ooze that sometimes runs amok in my mind. It's done its job many-a-time: he's never had to know how truly deep I've become embroiled. Other times it's let me vent enough so that when I do talk to Rob, I've already had a chance to put thought in some sort of coherent order so that Rob gets the message without the ramble. Finally, it's let me connect with some truly wonderful people and I'm glad to know every one of you. Thanks for being there.

Now, for point 2 - Warning: this gets religious and if you're of devout faith, don't take offence. Usually on this topic (below) I stay pretty politically correct because I know how important faith is to most people and I don't deny them their faith. For once, I'm going to say what I mean. If you don't like it don't read it.

2) Surfing blogs and following links, a daily habit, I found a blog belonging to a woman who's introduction to it stated:

"One Christian woman’s journey from disobedient housewife to submissive wife and teacher of other women - and along the road also finding she is a better mother, daughter, sister and friend as a result.....To read more on biblical womanhood please visit {she names the website} - a resource for Christian women dedicated to teaching and helping women be women as God intended through the teachings of His word. "

Oh my goodness. (I'm trying to not use profanity).

I try hard to be understanding of various religions and sects. Christian or otherwise. I studied religion in university (not as a major but as a theme running through several of my courses as a history major). I understand the functions of most religions as teachers of morality, uniters of culture, codifiers and enforcers of societal laws. While I don't go to any church and have my own personal reasons for not believing in a higher power, I never deny the right or beliefs of others.

But this woman has me really irritated for some reason.

I read a great deal of what this woman had to publish on her ministry website. She wants all us women to put our husbands before ourselves and our children. You have that toddler tugging on your pant leg looking for a hug and your husband in front of you looking for dinner? Dinner first. The child must learn to wait. Husband is looking for some "cuddle time"? Send the children outside and tell them to play quietly while Mommy and Daddy "cuddle" on the couch. She says that women are incapable of directing all of their love at more than one target at a time, and by looking after our children's immediate needs before those of our husband's, our husband "becomes not even a poor second or third".

If that were true, why have children at all? Or if we do, never have more than one: we'll never be able to love and care for all of them equally, being capable of only an apparent laser beam of love, focused narrowly on one target at a time.

Additionally, I have trouble with the "biblical wife".

The Bible is a book written by men in a time of extreme patriarchy. It is the codified word of God. We discussed this in one of my classes in university and the Tower of Babel effect comes in to play. Assuming God is the omniscient presence, it is highly unlikely that he transmits his messages in colloquial English. Therefore, the interpretation of the message must be filtered through the minds of those who hear it. Each of us has their own filter, shaped and moulded by our experiences in life. It is in that case impossible to transmit the message exactly as it was originally sent: as soon as pen is put to paper, as soon as words are chosen to convey a message never sent in words, the message becomes coloured by the writer and changes its original course. I don't care how "chosen" the writer was. He (because they were all male) cannot help but put his own experiences into his transcription.

It is for this reason that we have so many sects of each of the major religions: everyone has their own interpretation.

I don't deny that each person has their own RIGHT to interpret things as they see fit.

What I DO FREAK and PEAK at is the implication that someone is out there implying that the way I live my life as wife and mother is anything but ok. Because I ACTUALLY take time for myself sometimes, because sometimes I ACTUALLY make Rob WAIT while I sit and play a game with Adam for a while, because I am NOT SUBMISSIVE TO MY HUSBAND (!!!!! WHAT FRIGGING CENTURY ARE WE IN!!!!!) that I am somehow less of a wife, mother, woman, person.

I don't deny this woman the right and choice to live her life that way. What I do feel is wrong is her judgment on mine. How is that different than the hardline Islamic judgments of the western world as infidels? Because I don't follow the Koran, and especially don't follow it to a point where I am dressed in the traditional conservative muslim women's aba, I would be judged as an infidel whose lives her life full of sin. How is that judgment different than that of this woman? Hers is simply phrased in softer language.

The judgment is the same.

"Judge not, lest ye be judged".MATTHEW 7:1-5

I live my life as a good wife, mother and person. NO ONE has the right to imply otherwise. NO ONE.

Man this pisses me off. I'm getting the impression somewhere in the back of my mind that I might be a bit overreacting but I don't care. I am tired of having people like this woman, or some of the people I see on American TV, imply that because I don't follow their conservative religion, that I am bound for their Hell.

LEAVE ME ALONE. Clean up your own houses before you come to mine.


Rant over.


Blogger broke said...
it pisses me off too - big time..

Many thanks for your comment on my blog blondzila - I'm OK - will post later
B  

Blogger ant said...
Excellent piece. I'm definitely going to visit this site again.

=)  

Blogger distantvoices said...
Your first point rings true with me too: without a blog to vent and rage I'd either eat it up (not good) or ...well there isn't anything else.

Couldn't believe the nonsense you quoted from the 'Christian' woman. My wife is a christian woman, If I asked her to be submissive and just be there to 'help' me along she'd kick me in the nuts......with my full support.  

Blogger The Seriously Ill said...
This seems to be the bipolar bloggers theme: If you don't like what I write in my blog then don't read my blog. Bully for you.  

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