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Thursday, September 22, 2005
I got this from just tenured. It's an interesting exercise in how things change, or perhaps don't.

1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.

Which ends up to be, for me:

"Why am I going to get fired?"

I read the whole post and I was extremely paranoid and stressed about the job. It is the job that I left in March of this year. Now there is one person who reads this blog who was actually a customer of mine at that job and I don't think he really knows what it's like to work there. I know that at one point my boss, the president, had offered him a job, and when he told me that, I gave him some non-committal response because I couldn't tell him what a constant powder keg the place was like.

Reviewing that post creates a pictures that juxtaposes itself against my current work environment, highlighting how much more healthy this new job is for me, as well as highlighting how much healthier I have become. Yes, the new meds are making a big difference, but there was a desperation, a terrible fear showing in the other post, one that I remember well.

There was NO room for error at the other job. If something was shipped in error: a trip to the president's office. When I was late on a quote for a customer, a trip to the president's office behind closed doors, given a lecture, and being told to go home that night and write a list of reasons why this "failure" occurred, and what steps I would take to never let it happen again. Constantly walking on a tightrope, fearing to misstep at all. No wonder I was afraid of being fired.

Now, the sad thing is, I've found myself a great place to work and am much happier for it, but at the same time, Rob's job has been restructured some and he is now in a similar position to that I had been in the described post. The stress is wearing him badly and I'm worried constantly for him. I don't want to say much more about it because you never know who's reading your posts. But I wish I could wave a magic wand and take all his worries away.

Maybe if I do this exercise, reviewing posts from long ago, in a few months time, this post will seem as detached from Rob's future reality as this one is from the past. I can hope.

Blogger moodymicello said...
Are you sure that was a president of a company? Sounds more like the headmaster of a very strict 18th century boys school. hehel Surely he didn't take himself seriously,

I would have had a little trouble having any respect for him. m  

Blogger PowerProf said...
Isnt it interesting to read old posts? I find it amazing that some things change and others don't..... and am sometimes pleased to gain insight.  

Anonymous Squid said...
I don't have 23 yet. I'm still a nOOb...  

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