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Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Pirini Scleroso

That's a phonetic spelling of the name of a character from the old SCTV comedy show. She was a cleaning woman, apparently of eastern european extraction, who couldn't speak a word of English. She would simply grin widely and repeat back to everything that someone said to her, but as if she had marbles in her mouth.

I went to Tim Horton's yesterday (major Canadian doughnut chain) for some coffee and a travel mug because I left my travel mug at one of the three rinks I was at Sunday and don't think I'll see it again.

When I got to the front of the line, this was the conversation:

Me: Hi. I was wondering if you could tell me how much the travel mugs are?
Counter silly person (CSP): Traya mahr?
Me: No. A travel mug. You know. For coffee?
CSP: Oh. you wanna larch?
Me: No. A travel mug. I can see one in the display case over there. How much are they please?
CSP: Coffee larch?
Me: {sigh, needing coffee to calm homicidal tendencies now arising} Over there. In the display. It's about this big {making my hands show how big the standard travel mug is}.
CSP: {light bulb goes on} OH! You wanna EXTRA larch!
Me: ARGH. NO. You know what - just forget it. Can I have an extra large coffee with milk and sugar please.
{It's at this point that I notice this woman has a "trainee" insert on her name tag. Ah. Great. Put the non-english speaking person on the cash.}

I start to walk away then have a thought (should've lied down til it went away). The next cash had a young man operating it and he seemed quite well versed in English. I interrupted his service of the man beside me for a moment to ask if he knew how much the travel mugs were.

Good Counter Person (GSP): Yeah. They're around $5.
Me: Great.
{I get back in line, this time determined to see just this young man. CSP is eyeing me suspiciously, likely wondering what she'd done but I didn't give a shit.}
I get to the front.
Me: Could I have a travel mug please?
GSP: Sure. {Fiddles with the computerised cash register for a few minutes, then rings it in.} I'm just going to check with my supervisor that this is right. I don't sell a lot of these.
Me: {waits}
GSP returns: I'm sorry ma'am. We're all out.

ARGH.


Blogger moodymicello said...
...and of course he couldn't see you the one on display....etc. etc. etc. by the way, you speak good "marbles in the mouth". hehe
Michele  

Blogger sansanity said...
and no one died? the place was not burned to the ground? you are wonderful. i would have driven my car thru the front wondow and grabbed the travel mug and then used it to beat several people in uniforms of the donut place to death!  

Blogger distantvoices said...
Not sure what a travel mug is but you certainly needed one to put up with all that.  

Anonymous bill said...
distantvoices said...
"Not sure what a travel mug is but you certainly needed one to put up with all that."

Now see, you would be a PERFECT TH counter trainee......  

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